New Year's Resolutions for Hormone Health: The Hilarious Truth from Our IncreaseMyT Legends

Happy New Year's Eve, legends! It's December 31, 2025—glitter is flying, champagne is popping, and across the country people are making the same bold declarations they’ve made every year: “This is the year I finally get in shape,” “No more afternoon crashes,” “I’m going to have energy for life again.” We’ve all been there—scribbling resolutions on napkins, posting gym selfies on day one, and then quietly ghosting those goals by mid-February like they never happened.But something different happened at IncreaseMyT in 2025. Our clients didn’t just survive their New Year’s resolutions—they turned them into comedy gold. We asked the community: “What actually worked this year?” The answers poured in from group chats, check-ins, and emails, and the punchline was the same every time: they stopped fighting their hormones and started upgrading them. Here’s the hilarious (and brutally honest) recap of what our legends pulled off—and why they’re still laughing about how easy it became.

Resolution #1: “Lose the spare tire without turning into a kale martyr”

Client confession central: “I’ve tried every diet—keto, carnivore, fasting while staring sadly at my black coffee. The dad bod just laughed at me.” Sound familiar? When hormones are running low, your body treats every calorie like it’s prepping for a famine. Fat sticks, muscle hides, and metabolism takes a permanent vacation.Once optimized, the tide turned. One legend put it best: “I lost 25 pounds and still ate tacos on Tuesdays. My abs finally showed up instead of hiding in shame.” No starvation, no misery—just a metabolism that remembered how to do its job. The funniest part? They weren’t even trying that hard anymore.

Resolution #2: “Stop crashing harder than a toddler after cake”

The 2 p.m. wall hit everyone like clockwork. “I’d chug espresso and then stare at my screen like a confused golden retriever,” one client admitted. That mid-afternoon slump isn’t “just getting older”—it’s hormones quietly sabotaging you.After dialing in, the crashes vanished. “I went from ‘need a nap under my desk’ to ‘who needs sleep when you have this much energy?’” another legend laughed. “My wife now calls me the Energizer bunny. It’s terrifying and awesome.” Mornings became productive. Afternoons became possible. Life stopped feeling like survival mode.

Resolution #3: “Have energy left for… you know… life”

We all know what “life” means here. The bedroom spark, the confidence boost, the “let’s play basketball with the kids” energy. Clients cracked up sharing how “I’m too tired” used to be their default setting. After balancing the system, it flipped to “challenge accepted.”One legend deadpanned: “My wife asked if I was cheating because suddenly I had stamina. Nope—just hormones that stopped phoning it in.” Pickup games? Back on. Date nights? No yawning. Confidence? Through the roof. The bedroom suddenly felt like it was open for business again.

Resolution #4: “Quit believing every scary headline about getting older”

The myths were comedy gold. “Hormone stuff will wreck your prostate!” “You’ll turn into a rage monster!” “You can’t build muscle and lose fat at the same time!” Clients busted these one by one with actual bloodwork and real results.“I used to think hormone optimization was for roid-raging gym bros,” one shared. “Turns out it’s just adulting on easy mode—better mood, stronger lifts, no drama.” The scariest thing? Realizing how much time they’d wasted fighting biology instead of teaming up with it.

Resolution #5: “Actually enjoy January instead of dreading it”

The funniest plot twist of all: no white-knuckling required. No “day 3 and I’m already cheating” guilt trips. Clients kept their resolutions because their bodies finally cooperated.“January 2025 felt like cheating,” one legend laughed. “I was eating normally, training hard, sleeping great—and still seeing progress. It was almost unfair.” The secret? Stop battling uphill battles against hormones that were quietly working against you.

So What Now? 2026 Is Calling

As the ball drops tonight, skip the empty promises and the self-roast sessions. Our clients proved the funniest resolution of all: the one where you laugh at how easy it was once you stopped fighting your own biology.If 2025 taught our legends anything, it’s that the best New Year’s resolution isn’t “try harder”—it’s “optimize smarter.” Give your hormones the attention they deserve, and watch the goals stop being punchlines and start being your reality.2026 is wide open. Make it the year you laugh at how effortless it became.Here’s to epic energy, effortless gains, unbreakable moods, and a metabolism that finally shows up on time.Cheers to the best version of you in 2026.
Todd & the IncreaseMyT CrewP.S. If your New Year’s kiss felt more like a high-five than fireworks… your hormones might be sending an SOS. Just saying. Drop us a line if you want the concierge roadmap to make next year hilariously easy.